pre season preview: down under

By Alfie Kemp

Football is back!

I really didn’t think I’d be uttering those words with quite so much joviality after a season that felt like it spanned a decade and was one game away from resulting in a complete catastrophe. No, I really thought I’d be properly done with football for a good while after 21/22, and the inevitably pointless friendlies in a far away land would pass without so much as a “oh, we’re playing right now, are we?”. In reality, I’m champing at the bit waiting for 10:45am tomorrow morning and figuring out how exactly I’m going to wake up at the crack of dawn on a summer Sunday morning to watch our reserves half-arse it against a half-arsing Aston Villa; life is funny like that.

A number of factors are to blame for this psychological shift: a significant under-estimation of my appetite for football, good old-fashioned boredom, and the most exciting transfer window this Leeds fan can remember. It is, though, the third of those reasons that has contributed the most to a quiet feeling of optimism that I haven’t felt since 2020 (okay, that isn’t very long ago but still), and I believe is shared by a growing number of Leeds United supporters. I don’t fully subscribe to the “we used to be owned by [Bates/GFH/Cellino] so we stop moaning” mantra but taking a holistic view of our transfer operation so far this decade, but it is very hard to look at the fact that we have spent over 90 million pounds in two out of the last three summer windows and not feel that certain over-active Twitter users need to look on the bright side.

So far, Leeds have brought in six players - Brenden Aaronson, Rasmus Kristensen, Marc Roca, Darko Gyabi, Tyler Adams, and Luis Sinisterra – for a combined 95 million pounds. Admittedly, this has been offset by the departures of Kalvin Phillips and Raphinha whose transfers, to Manchester City and Barcelona respectively, awarded Leeds a windfall of around 96 million pounds. This is a clear example of Leeds following the ‘Leicester Model’ of buying low and selling high – and any club managing to turn a small profit whilst buying three times as many players as they sell in a window must be admired.

I suppose I could’ve segued into an in-depth tactical analysis of each new signing here, but to tell you the truth I can’t be bothered, and I’d rather talk about the Queensland Champions Cup. Anyhow, I think I’d rather let the lads show you what they can do on the pitch than allow them to be subjected to a half-baked opinion piece on where and how they’re going to play.

Leeds are due to play three friendly games in Australia, against Brisbane Roar and Aston Villa in the Queensland Champions cup, followed by a one-off game against Crystal Palace (which is unofficially called the “Gary Cahills Ankle Memorial Trophy” …not really). The tour marks the return of Leeds to the land down under after a memorable 2019 which saw a 2-1 victory over Western Sydney Wanderers offer little to heal the wounds inflicted by a 4-0 humbling at the hands of those amoral twats from the other side of the Pennines. Back then we saw many interesting things, such as Mateusz Bogusz burying a worldie (I’ve just watched the footage back, it was a tap-in) and a player aptly named Kwame Yeboah score against the Whites – he retired last year at the age of 28 last year to become a professional model…I’m not kidding.

This time around the opposition may be less glamorous but the excitement is certainly matched, if not bettered by this latest edition. First up, Leeds play Brisbane Roar at the Cbus Super Stadium, home of the NRL side Gold Coast Titans. Last season was a tough one for ‘The Roar’ who finished 11th out of 12 after managing a paltry 7 wins from their 26 games – thank goodness it’s a closed league. But there is reason to be optimistic for Warren Moon, the English-born coach who manages the side, for a number of reasons. For starters they secured the services of one-time Premier League goal machine and Blur tribute act Charlie Austin from Queens Park Rangers. After leaving the London outfit, the biscuit-kneed target-man decided to follow in the footsteps of fellow football league journeymen Craig Noone, Adam Le Fondre, and Scott Wootton – solidifying the A-League’s reputation of being the competition where average English football careers go to die (no offence). They also seem to be trying to recreate the reserve back four from Manchester United’s squad of 2004-05, counting the names Neville, Brown, and O’Shea amongst their ranks – it may be Scott, Corey and Jay but still take a leaf you know? Also, Jez Lofthouse will surely be itching to recreate the achievements of the legendary Nat with a stellar performance on Thursday morning.

Overall, this game will likely be similar if not a slightly lower standard to that which Leeds faced in York against Blackpool where the Whites won 4-0. I would also expect Marsch to give starts to some of the new boys now that they’ve had time to bed in with the squad. It’s probably too early for Sinisterra and Adams as they’ve barely had a week, but surely Aaronson, Kristensen and possibly Gyabi are in line for some game time having all missed out against the Tangerines. Another exciting prospect for Leeds is that Patrick Bamford could make a return to the side after an absence last time out, although according to Phil Hay he did play in a behind-closed-doors friendly against Stoke City at Thorpe Arch, scoring the only goal in a 1-0 win. Finally, I can’t wait to see Marc Roca play again, as he really seems like the kind of player who is just a joy to watch play the game – a Rolls-Royce if you will.

Leeds will follow this game with the second game of the tournament against Steven Gerrard’s Aston Villa on Sunday, kick-off at 5:35 BST at the Suncorp Stadium in Brisbane. This multi-purpose venue is due to stage a Guns N’ Roses concert this November, and the Whites will be hoping to SLASH the Villans’ hopes of winning the 2022 QCC. See what I did there? Anyway. Villa have had a pretty good transfer window as well, converting Philippe Coutinho’s loan deal to a permanent, signing highly rated Brazilian centre-half Diego Carlos from Sevilla, and snapping up Boubacar Kamara on a free transfer after the youngster left Marseille. If the A-League has a reputation for English footballers in the twilight of their career, then Aston Villa is where fairly decent players from the continent can go for the guarantee of massively inflated wages and good exposure to the big boys. Much like Leeds, they’ve not really had much of a pre-season yet having played 3 games but only one with a senior side, a 4-0 away win at Walsall sandwiched by an 8-2 demolition of Chasetown and a 4-3 defeat to Hednesford Town where they were represented by an ‘Aston Villa XI’. In fairness to them, they have clearly invested heavily and are committed to improving on an uninspiring season that saw them finish 14th with 45 points amidst a few decent results and if they get their act together and keep key players like Bailey and Coutinho fit for upwards of 80% of the season, they could have a sniff at Europe. They will certainly be hoping that their expensive new toys hit the ground running against Leeds on Sunday morning, where you would expect the winners of that match to go on to lift the trophy.

Lastly, Leeds will face Crystal Palace next Friday at the Optus Stadium in Perth, where Leeds last played in 2019 against Scum. This may look like another good game to test Leeds’ preparedness for the season ahead much like Villa, but the absence of key Palace players may devalue somewhat the result of that match; Zaha, Eze, Schlupp, Benteke, Guehi and Hughes will all be absent due to various reasons according to LeedsLive. However, it’s still a game against Premier League opposition and I expect Vieira to name as strong a line-up as possible despite notable absentees, and it also is another game that could see some of the newer arrivals make their start in a White shirt. Palace haven’t really done much in the way of transfers this summer, only managing to bring in Malcolm Ebiowei on a cheap deal from cash-strapped Derby, rescue Sam Johnstone from West Brom, and sign young midfielder Cheick Doucore from Lens.

Hopefully this article was enough to whet your appetite for the games in Australia, of course Leeds are also due to play Cagliari at Elland Road at the end of the month, but it isn’t in Australia so I don’t care – cheerio!

Predictions:

Leeds 7-2 Brisbane Roar

Leeds 2-0 Aston Villa

Leeds 5-4 Crystal Palace